Monday, June 20, 2005



Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.

-- W.S. Merwin

A poem which I read somewhere and a poem that caused me to look up everything else by the poet. But more importantly, a poem that caught me unawares. A poem that talks positively of separation. A poem that doesn't sensationalise the point at which a relationship between two people changes because there is a distance between them.

To me it is positive because it acknowledges that every interaction adds color to one's life. Every relationship teaches you how not to behave..:)

I love the use of words in this one. While it puts across that the separation has been hard (" gone through me") it recovers immediately with everything i do is stiched with its color. All of us have friends that we have parted ways with, physically or emotionally. There are some that make such lasting impacts that meeting them after a gap of 5,10 or 20 years making little or no difference to the comfort levels you feel with them. There is this zone that belongs only to the two of you and remains guarded.....for life.

Which brings me to something I had a conversation about with a friend yesterday. Is it possible to love somebody without expecting anything in return? Lets stick to platonic relationships only. Why is it important that if you think someone is a very dear friend, that someone should feel the same way about you? Isn't it enough how much happiness you are getting by simply liking that someone that much?

That was our line of discussion and I have no answers. But I have found that the people I believe are good friends are all friends made with little or no expectations. But then of course, the definition of an expectation might have been very different when we did become friends. I don't know!

P.S. One interesting thing about Merwin is that his translations of Neruda are really good. This poem isn't such a wonder any more is it??


Vetti Guy said...

I remember seeing that verse in Melancholetta.Nice one.Short and effective.

Regarding your second q.,I wonder if we have any relationships/friendships at all from which we dont gain anything emotionally or psychologically or even monetarily.And if the other person doesnt like you back, then is it really a friendship or are you just a fan of his/her,?

morpheus said...

Tht was a nice one indeed. Its amazing in poetry how simple verses can convey meaning and detail that prose would struggle with!!.
Regarding your second q, im gonna try explainin wht i think. When we form a relationship with someone, we inadvertently become a part of their life and they a part of ours. Its always a 2 way flow, though in varying amounts. It would be illogical to even suggest that only the sense of giving would bring happiness to the person. Harsh reality, the person who puts somethin into a relationship does so cause he/she expects something in return, or has already received it on some level. There's always a purpose and a response for each of our actions. Not a perfect analogy, but consider the situation to someone dressing up well for an occassion, is the person doin it cause at the end of it, he/she feels nice about the way they look, or is it because they see themselves well dressed through the eyes of other people who are gonna be present??
hope u get what im tryin to say...really get messed up with words i wish i was a poet !!!

wooaaooww said...

That's an interesting topic..relationships and distances. I think distance can't really separate people who wish to think distances don't matter. Well, we do tend to miss people and we do keep wishing "if only they were here.." I guess it's directly proportionate the person in question.. :)